2/27/05 at 9:30 p.m.

It was a tough week for us last week. We live on such an emotional roller coaster...wasting energy wishing, hoping, wondering and questioning. It is what it is and the moment is all that really matters. When we first came home from Boise Jess' left side was so stiff we could hardly bend his leg or his arm and his right side was just the opposite. They call it toning or spasticity and it is caused by adrenalin rushing to the muscles without Jess' control. With the help of the therapists, we were able to get him to relax for a couple of months. But, as we know, nothing ever remains the same. It has come back only reversed, just not as severe. His right arm remains straight and hard to bend, his left arm stays bent and hard to straighten and the same with his legs. His head is turning hard to the left and we are constantly trying to encourage him to keep it in the middle. We all think it is the channel that has come alive on the left and now we can't wait for the right side to catch up. We are trying to focus on the fact that "change is good" and I personally think it is just working it's way out. The sooner the better! We did have good responses with the therapists during the week, he rode Charlie Brown with better trunk control and he attended school for 45 minutes. We took him for a ride today around by all of his familiar places. We couldn't really tell if he recognized those places.

We have finally found a used van in Nebraska that we can put a wheelchair lift in so Chris will fly there soon to pick it up. It will make it so much easier to transport Jess. Our insurances are questioning our need for the tub lift and standing machine....interesting! And, after we fill out the 7 page document, we may get the new wheelchair sometime in our lifetime. I think they should focus more on the giving than the receiving...don't you agree? Again, I encourage you all to review your policies. It is an incredible journey to explore the world of what you thought you had and how difficult it is to get. But we are thankful for what they have paid.

Tomorrow is another day, change is good and I bid you all a good night.

P.S. Our guestbook is receiving some very strange messages. Joey has tried to stop them but maybe if I ask them kindly to stop visiting our guestbook they might comply. Please...Thank you!