"Love others fully and with all your heart, and do not fear, do not hold back. The more you give, the more will return to you."
-Dr. Brian L. Weiss-
We had a very emotional night last night. The basketball team asked us to bring Jess to their last home game which was "Senior Night". We were having a hard time making the decision so we asked Jess if he wanted to go to give us a thumb's up. His thumb went straight up...so we had our answer. They called the senior boys' and their parents out to the middle of the gym floor. They announced Jess as the co-captain of the team and we wheeled him out next to his teammates in front of a huge crowd. He was honored with a standing ovation. The coach gave him a plague with his name and #40 on it. There were many tears shed. We want to thank the team for including Jess in their special night. I know he would thank you if he could. Jess seemed to want to get right out of his chair and join his teammates when they started the game. He was moving his legs and opening his hand as though he thought they might throw him the ball on the sideline. Many of his other friends came by to say hi and I am sure many just didn't know how. It isn't easy seeing someone that was so active and full of life in a wheel chair. But, I know he knew those of you who came and let him know you care. We felt a lot of love and support in that gym. It wasn't easy for us but then again...it wasn't about us. A special thanks goes out to our friends that showed up to give us moral support. We needed it! There are many wonderful people in this world! We seem to be blessed with a multitude. We left the game after halftime but we heard it went into double overtime and they lost by just a few points. Congratulations for a good fight to the finish!
This whole week has been emotional for the Matey's. Chris has worked for Sun Valley Company for 20 years and the S.V. Ski Club decided to donate part of the proceeds of a race being held on the mountain and at the nordic center to Jess. A very generous couple (who we have never met) Bob & Lynne Nicholson donated a trip to Cabo in Mexico in conjunction with the race. There are raffle tickets being sold all over town. The proceeds are going to the Jess Matey Community Trust Fund. We are so humble and grateful...all we can say is thank you so very very much. We can't wait until it is our turn to give back to all of those that have given to us so freely. We send our love to you all.
P.S. We had six of Jess' friends visit him today. It meant a lot to see them show up and you just never know who will witness and be part of a wonderful miracle. Thank you...
Friday, February 11, 2005
Monday, February 7, 2005
2/7/05 at 9:30 p.m.
"It's easy to get lost in endless speculation. So today, release the need to know why things happen as they do. Instead, ask for the insight to recognize what you're meant to learn."
- Carolyn Myss
I needed to hear that message, maybe it will help you too. Jess rode Charlie Brown again today. Everyone kept telling me he looked different and more alert than last week. He has been moving a lot more. Before he got on Charlie, they brought in another horse for Jess to touch, to feel his soft hair, to touch his nose and feel him breathe. The horse seemed to know and licked Jess' hand. Animals are so wise. They too have to communicate silently with their eyes and with their presence. As we watched him in amazement go around the arena on Charlie, Jess seemed to hold himself upright and then relax his legs and arms as though he wanted to be there. Maybe he felt he finally had some control...some control of something in his life. When he finished they said he was doing well enough that they had a slot for another day...two days a week! Wow.
We took Jess to the bowling alley this weekend. He watched his good friend Curtis and his mom and dad bowl. Jess spent many good times in the bowling alley. We couldn't really tell if he knew where he was or not. We just keep trying.
And, Jess is going back to school for just a few minutes one day a week. He really can't participate...but maybe the smell, the voices of his friends and teachers, the familiar environment, the memories will help him put the pieces back together. Everyone has been so helpful, so understanding and so willing to make it work...now it is again just up to Jess.
- Carolyn Myss
I needed to hear that message, maybe it will help you too. Jess rode Charlie Brown again today. Everyone kept telling me he looked different and more alert than last week. He has been moving a lot more. Before he got on Charlie, they brought in another horse for Jess to touch, to feel his soft hair, to touch his nose and feel him breathe. The horse seemed to know and licked Jess' hand. Animals are so wise. They too have to communicate silently with their eyes and with their presence. As we watched him in amazement go around the arena on Charlie, Jess seemed to hold himself upright and then relax his legs and arms as though he wanted to be there. Maybe he felt he finally had some control...some control of something in his life. When he finished they said he was doing well enough that they had a slot for another day...two days a week! Wow.
We took Jess to the bowling alley this weekend. He watched his good friend Curtis and his mom and dad bowl. Jess spent many good times in the bowling alley. We couldn't really tell if he knew where he was or not. We just keep trying.
And, Jess is going back to school for just a few minutes one day a week. He really can't participate...but maybe the smell, the voices of his friends and teachers, the familiar environment, the memories will help him put the pieces back together. Everyone has been so helpful, so understanding and so willing to make it work...now it is again just up to Jess.
Wednesday, February 2, 2005
2/2/05 at 11:45 a.m.
It has been a stimulating week for Jess and for us. Monday, Jess rode Charlie Brown again and it was a wonderful site to see. His sister Jamie and her little girl Jahara, his grandmother, Chris and I and our friend Marlene all witnessed Jess riding on this beautiful horse with a wonderful support team of eight caring people. He rode for over 30 minutes and every time they stopped to ask him if he wanted to go around again they got the two blinks they asked for which meant yes. They felt he was much stronger and it was easier for Lisa to hold him from behind on the back of the horse.
That night we had received a call from one of Jess' long time friends asking if he and two other friends could come to visit last night. Billy, Morgan and Dillon came over and hung out with Jess for about three hours. It was amazing because Jess never closed his eyes. He watched a movie with them and we know he was listening to their voices and wanted to join in their conversations. We want the guys to know it meant a lot to have them interact with Jess. Their role with him could make a huge difference in his recovery. And, yes, Chris and I left for 1 hour and 23 minutes. We walked up to a close by restaurant, had dinner, stopped by the grocery store and brought ice cream bars home for the gang. We were not sure the guys would be comfortable alone with Jess for the first time so 3 of our wonderful friends (Jay, Joan & Marlene) also came over. My parents were also there so I think we covered all of our bases! I guess it is all about baby steps. It was nice to breath the fresh air and have dinner with my husband. Thank you to all....we are so blessed.
Next message I will have more information on Jess going back to school
That night we had received a call from one of Jess' long time friends asking if he and two other friends could come to visit last night. Billy, Morgan and Dillon came over and hung out with Jess for about three hours. It was amazing because Jess never closed his eyes. He watched a movie with them and we know he was listening to their voices and wanted to join in their conversations. We want the guys to know it meant a lot to have them interact with Jess. Their role with him could make a huge difference in his recovery. And, yes, Chris and I left for 1 hour and 23 minutes. We walked up to a close by restaurant, had dinner, stopped by the grocery store and brought ice cream bars home for the gang. We were not sure the guys would be comfortable alone with Jess for the first time so 3 of our wonderful friends (Jay, Joan & Marlene) also came over. My parents were also there so I think we covered all of our bases! I guess it is all about baby steps. It was nice to breath the fresh air and have dinner with my husband. Thank you to all....we are so blessed.
Next message I will have more information on Jess going back to school
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
1/19/05 @ 9:00 p.m.
We had a very positive day yesterday. Our speech therapist was able to get some good answers for yes and no from Jess with his eyes. She would ask him a question and he would look at signs, one with a "yes" and one with a "no". His eye contact was the best she has seen and she was very pleased. She comes all the way from Burley just to work with Jess. The doctor's office in Salt Lake called to schedule us for another visit on February 17th. She made a point to ask me if the speech therapists were working on communication. She mentioned again that Jess was in there and that we just had to find the way to communicate with him. After 7 months, I can't tell you how much those words mean to us.
Later in the day we took Jess to the high school gym to watch his teammates play basketball. It was another big adventure for us. The boys were in the locker room so Jess, Chris and I (imagine a mom in the boy's locker room!) went into the locker room and witnessed the planning for the next game. Jess was intently watching & listening to Coach Trinkle and his friends. Coach told me they dedicated the last game they played to Jess and they won! I think it was hard on his friends to see Jess in a wheelchair and knowing he was not able to talk to them but I know it meant a lot to Jess to see some familiar faces, hear familiar voices, smell the familiar smells and try to remember who he is. This is just a beginning for us. We are working on getting him on a horse once a week at the Sagebrush Arena to help strengthen his neck and trunk. The movement on a horse gives him the sensation of walking. Last weekend we also took him into his friend Curtis' house where he has spent a lot of time hoping he would recall all the fun times he had there. We are also looking at getting a new van so we can transport him in his wheelchair easier. We have been through many stages, emotions, fears, tears already since the accident and as I said this is just the beginning.
Later in the day we took Jess to the high school gym to watch his teammates play basketball. It was another big adventure for us. The boys were in the locker room so Jess, Chris and I (imagine a mom in the boy's locker room!) went into the locker room and witnessed the planning for the next game. Jess was intently watching & listening to Coach Trinkle and his friends. Coach told me they dedicated the last game they played to Jess and they won! I think it was hard on his friends to see Jess in a wheelchair and knowing he was not able to talk to them but I know it meant a lot to Jess to see some familiar faces, hear familiar voices, smell the familiar smells and try to remember who he is. This is just a beginning for us. We are working on getting him on a horse once a week at the Sagebrush Arena to help strengthen his neck and trunk. The movement on a horse gives him the sensation of walking. Last weekend we also took him into his friend Curtis' house where he has spent a lot of time hoping he would recall all the fun times he had there. We are also looking at getting a new van so we can transport him in his wheelchair easier. We have been through many stages, emotions, fears, tears already since the accident and as I said this is just the beginning.
Saturday, January 15, 2005
1/15/05 @ 4:30 p.m.
After driving through a bad snow storm, witnessing many cars and semi's off the road we finally made it to Salt Lake on Tuesday evening. We ended up staying in Salt Lake two nights and quickly learned about maneuvering in a motel and in a big city with a wheel chair. It was our first big adventure since we brought Jess home. All I can say is it was an adventure.
We had a one hour appointment with the doctor in a very busy hospital. Five hours later we left the hospital impressed, full of information and exhausted. She was a wonderful physician who never made us feel rushed and was so willing to answer all of our many questions. She spent the first half hour convincing us that a rehab hospital was not the best place for Jess. She was impressed with what we were doing for him and felt his being in his own environment was giving him a better chance for recovery. He needs the comfort and security of all those that love him around him. When we walked in her office we feared we would hear all of the negative diagnosis that we had heard from the neurologists in the beginning and...when we left we had a plan to help Jess increase his progress. She didn't look at or ask us what they had diagnosed. She said her job was only to get her patients functioning. The words I hang on to every moment are "Jess is in there...he just needs help to emerge." She informed us he is ready to try things that we have questioned ourselves whether it was time. She insisted we try standing him for at least an hour a day (if not his bones will lose the calcium and he will develop osteoporsis), she wants him to venture out into his familiar territory (basketball practice, the bowling alley, his friend's house) and she felt he needs to interact with his peers. All this will spur his memory of who he is and what it was like to be Jess Matey. She watched a video we made of things the therapists were able to accomplish and was pleased to see his movements. She said we have a very long climb at a very slow pace.
She suggested we get a standing machine, a bathtub lift (which we have been trying to get for 3 months) a new wheelchair, a new car to transport him, buttons he can push to communicate...the list goes on and on. She wants us back in 6 weeks to see a neuro opthamalogist, to do another swallow evaluation, to replace his feeding tube with a "button", and to check his legs from the botox shots she gave him to relax the muscles that have become so strong they overpower the weak ones. We have to find someone that can do serial casts on his legs three different times for 7 to 10 days each time, increasing the flexion 10% each time they are casted. And then, she had to leave the room for a phone call stating when she returned we would talk about getting him back into school. Our mouths dropped and our emotions when on a rampage..."Is she kidding?" No, she wasn't and I will continue that subject when I can breath again and when I have more information.
I want to thank everyone for their wonderful positive messages just when I need them. We love you all...
We had a one hour appointment with the doctor in a very busy hospital. Five hours later we left the hospital impressed, full of information and exhausted. She was a wonderful physician who never made us feel rushed and was so willing to answer all of our many questions. She spent the first half hour convincing us that a rehab hospital was not the best place for Jess. She was impressed with what we were doing for him and felt his being in his own environment was giving him a better chance for recovery. He needs the comfort and security of all those that love him around him. When we walked in her office we feared we would hear all of the negative diagnosis that we had heard from the neurologists in the beginning and...when we left we had a plan to help Jess increase his progress. She didn't look at or ask us what they had diagnosed. She said her job was only to get her patients functioning. The words I hang on to every moment are "Jess is in there...he just needs help to emerge." She informed us he is ready to try things that we have questioned ourselves whether it was time. She insisted we try standing him for at least an hour a day (if not his bones will lose the calcium and he will develop osteoporsis), she wants him to venture out into his familiar territory (basketball practice, the bowling alley, his friend's house) and she felt he needs to interact with his peers. All this will spur his memory of who he is and what it was like to be Jess Matey. She watched a video we made of things the therapists were able to accomplish and was pleased to see his movements. She said we have a very long climb at a very slow pace.
She suggested we get a standing machine, a bathtub lift (which we have been trying to get for 3 months) a new wheelchair, a new car to transport him, buttons he can push to communicate...the list goes on and on. She wants us back in 6 weeks to see a neuro opthamalogist, to do another swallow evaluation, to replace his feeding tube with a "button", and to check his legs from the botox shots she gave him to relax the muscles that have become so strong they overpower the weak ones. We have to find someone that can do serial casts on his legs three different times for 7 to 10 days each time, increasing the flexion 10% each time they are casted. And then, she had to leave the room for a phone call stating when she returned we would talk about getting him back into school. Our mouths dropped and our emotions when on a rampage..."Is she kidding?" No, she wasn't and I will continue that subject when I can breath again and when I have more information.
I want to thank everyone for their wonderful positive messages just when I need them. We love you all...
Monday, January 10, 2005
1/10/05 @ 12:00 p.m.
I keep debating if I should continue updating this website for Jess. I guess I do it, for Jess, so that someday he can recall what happened to him in these 7 months since his accident and he will get to read all of the wonderful messages from friends, family and people who care. And, everyone does keep thanking me for keeping them updated on his progress. I just wish one day when I start typing I could say that he is awake and responding. He is doing new things every week and without really knowing, we assume they are all good even though the appearance does not always seem that way.
We are traveling to Salt Lake City tomorrow for an appointment with the doctor who is the head of the Primary Children's Hospital Rehab and also the University of Utah Rehab. I wanted to create a relationship with a doctor who has a lot of experience with someone with a severe traumatic brain injury so that when Jess is ready to enter the world or rehab we have a good contact physician. We do hope that it will be soon. The hardest part of all of this is that we could take Jess to the best hospital in the world and it may not be any better than what we are doing for him right at home. If he is not ready to respond to the therapists there is nothing they can do. It is not like having a heart transplant or getting a new kidney...it is still waiting for his brain to heal. I keep getting asked how we are doing or how we get through each day. I really don't know. It is about surviving and taking care of someone that I love and cherish more than life itself. I try not to look into the future and to forget the past. Each day I just wake up looking forward to the hug I so long for from my beautiful son. I know that something good has to come out of this tragic event that has happened to such a wonderful young man. He has more more to teach us.
We are traveling to Salt Lake City tomorrow for an appointment with the doctor who is the head of the Primary Children's Hospital Rehab and also the University of Utah Rehab. I wanted to create a relationship with a doctor who has a lot of experience with someone with a severe traumatic brain injury so that when Jess is ready to enter the world or rehab we have a good contact physician. We do hope that it will be soon. The hardest part of all of this is that we could take Jess to the best hospital in the world and it may not be any better than what we are doing for him right at home. If he is not ready to respond to the therapists there is nothing they can do. It is not like having a heart transplant or getting a new kidney...it is still waiting for his brain to heal. I keep getting asked how we are doing or how we get through each day. I really don't know. It is about surviving and taking care of someone that I love and cherish more than life itself. I try not to look into the future and to forget the past. Each day I just wake up looking forward to the hug I so long for from my beautiful son. I know that something good has to come out of this tragic event that has happened to such a wonderful young man. He has more more to teach us.
Thursday, January 6, 2005
1/6/05 at 11:50 a.m.
The year is starting off on a positive note. Last night Kelsey called to tell us the Wood River varsity basketball team won their first game against the #1 A4 team last night. Billy Kramer and Syringa Stark left a towel and a small green ball for Jess on the doorstep this morning. Jess would have loved to share the excitement with his teammates. Congratulations! Good job guys and keep it going!
We also received good news from Jess' brother Joey. He doesn't have to have his shoulder operated on. Just needs rest and physical therapy. And, Jamie is much better from the virus.
As for our Jess, the therapists all seem to think he has changed physically, with much better range of motion, and he seems to be showing more personality. This will be a good year!
It was Jess' Grandma Juliann Matey's birthday yesterday. We all wish her a very happy birthday!
We also received good news from Jess' brother Joey. He doesn't have to have his shoulder operated on. Just needs rest and physical therapy. And, Jamie is much better from the virus.
As for our Jess, the therapists all seem to think he has changed physically, with much better range of motion, and he seems to be showing more personality. This will be a good year!
It was Jess' Grandma Juliann Matey's birthday yesterday. We all wish her a very happy birthday!
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