September 14th at 8:10 p.m.

I had to add to my message of yesterday. I received an email from the special friend that helped direct my letter to the Dalai Lama. She was priveleged to speak to the Dalai and to his emissary of peace, Tenzin, at the blessing of the new prayer wheel that was brought to our valley. She said she was able to thank Tenzin for taking time to visit with us and with Jess at our house and for praying for and with Jess for the completion of his healing. She said Tenzin smiled very big. He told me, "It was my pleasure to meet Jess and his family. I believe in myself, that Jess will be all fine. Jess' mind is bright and strong. He is young and still growing, his mind is awake and in some more time Jess will be very good. I have seen very much worse do very good. But Jess, his mind is very busy and his body will heal back to it." She said she ran to her car to write down his words so she wouldn't forget. We can't tell you how much those words meant to us. You are an angel, my friend.

September 13th, 2005 at 1:50 p.m.

It seems as though the last few weeks have come and gone in a whirlwind. We have been through so many emotional events in a short period of time. The wedding was wonderful and the love we all shared throughout the planning was...worth all the worry. It is strange that as I look at the pictures of Jess at the wedding, I am struck with a reality I guess I have not seen or wanted to see. The pictures are not what I see. He did look very handsome in his tuxedo.

School was another very emotional event for both Amanda and I. It brought back memories for Amanda of the wonderful relationship she had with her brother when they were both in high school. She lost him at his young age of 17 in a terrible car accident. She was 18. I know she and Jess have been brought together for a very special reason. We are so grateful for whatever that reason is...

For me, my heart ached to see all of the kids talking in the halls, hurrying to class, laughing, hugging and watching Jess as though they just couldn’t understand how something so awful could happen to someone so much like them. We all have a hard time understanding that one.

Amanda did have some very good days as they continued to attend classes through the week. She was able to get Jess to hold a marker in his right hand in his art class and he even tried to move it to make some marks on the paper. The therapist had some very good sessions and more of his friends were able to approach Jess. I know it must be so hard for them. He is still Jess...he just can’t tell you.

I am trying to remember what I did before Jess was hurt. My sole focus is on him and I feel lost when he is not here. I am still very busy but I have an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach. It too shall pass.

We had a very spiritual weekend that will remain in our memories for a long time. I attended the Dalai Lama’s message to 10,000 people with my cousin and two friends on Sunday. He is so delightful, funny and spoke words that supported all of my beliefs. He, too, has witnessed a terrible tragedy in losing his home and his country of Tibet. He reminded us not to ever lose hope. Chris and I took Jess to the children’s event on Monday. He spoke to the children and let them know they were responsible for the future. He stressed the importance of “compassion”. “You must help others’ and if you can’t help, you should not harm others.” “We need a little more compassion, and if we cannot have it then no politician or even magician can save the planet.” It begins with you and then ripples throughout the world. He said it was a new beginning. An age of dialogue instead of violence. It was such a peaceful event in which I know everyone left with a sense of calmness and love. We are so fortunate to have been able to participate and to have Jess in the presence of “His Holiness”.

Again, I am forced to realize that Jess is the only one in control of his destiny and all I can do is love him. Not even “His Holiness” can change his journey.

September 4th, 2005 at 4:00 p.m.

We had a wonderful weekend and are pleased to welcome into our family Joey’s new wife, Angela. They were a beautiful couple had a truly memorable ceremony on September 1st, at Trail Creek Cabin in Sun Valley. Chris, Jess and his grandpa all dressed up in tuxedos and looked very handsome. It was quite the miracle since two days before the wedding the 7 of the tuxes were shipped to MN. Jess was a groomsman along with 3 of Joey’s good friends and “Uncle Dave”. Joey was blessed to have three grandmothers attend and grandpa even rallied for the occasion with a sore arm. Lots of friends and family were able to come and it was so fun to see everyone. Jamie was a gorgeous bridesmaid with two of Angie’s beautiful sisters and a cute pregnant best friend and little Jahara was the flower girl. At two years of age, she danced us all into the ground and kept everyone hopping all night long. It was a beautiful day with blue skies, wispy clouds and Bald Mountain in the background. They originally had their heart set on getting married in Maui but when Jess got hurt they changed their plans so we could all be together on their special day. Chris’ mom and two sisters came out from Cleveland. It was the first time his oldest sister, Joy, had been out here and she fell in love with the mountains. Most of Angela’s family and friends were able to come from Minnesota, Wisconsin and Arizona and some of Joey’s family came from Idaho Falls. Angie’s family were all a lot of fun to be around and it was a pleasure to meet them. We all enjoyed a fun rehearsal dinner here at our house. It seems awful quiet now with everyone gone.

Jess starts school on Tuesday and gets back to horseback riding after 3 weeks off. He has a really busy schedule and we just hope the stimulation will help him figure out a lot of things he has forgotten. He was sure wide-eyed at the wedding hearing all the familiar voices he hasn’t heard for a long while and there were times we thought he was really going to say something. Boy, will that be a glorious day!

August 28th at 10:00 p.m.

Today was a very special day in our lives. We were honored to be visited by Tenzin Dhonden, the emissary of peace for His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama of Tibet. He is as they say, “His right hand”. A quote from Dr. Wayne Dyer comes to mind, “Act as if anything you desire is already here. Believe that all that you seek you have already received, that it exists in spirit and know you shall have your desires filled.” I had the desire to write a letter to His Holiness when I found out he was visiting our valley. I wanted him to pray for my son’s healing. When Tenzin walked into our house and directly over to Jess, he immediately closed his eyes in prayer and whispered a mantra over and over as he stood by his wheelchair. It was almost as though I was living in a dream. I knew my desires had been filled. He was praying for our Jess. There was a very peaceful feeling around Jess and in our house. We were honored to have someone of such importance visit us and especially Jess. We are so blessed. They assured me His Holiness would read my letter when he arrives on September 10th. They said they were moved by the words in my letter. They were just words from a mother who loves her son so very much.

Minutes after I received the phone call asking me when a good time would be for them to visit, I received another phone call from one of my dear friends. Her oldest son had lost his life in a plane crash in Challis, Idaho. Tragedy strikes us with no warning. I can only continue to pray for her strength to endure the loss of her son and let her know how much I love her and am always here for her.

It has also been a challenging week for our family. Jess’ grandfather had two mini strokes this week. I took him to the E.R. the first time and we called an ambulance the second one. He had a blocked artery in his right arm and they had only 6 hours to remove the blockage before he would lose his arm. We thank the surgeon who was able to accomplish the task and dad is resting at home again with a very sore arm. The surgeon was kind enough to share a personal story with me of his brother who was in a motorcycle accident when he was 28 and remained in a coma for 14 years. Tragedy strikes us with no warning. He had such compassion for our situation and knew the path we were walking. He reminded me that Jess is young and that he has a good chance to recover and to never give up. We share our stories and hold on to each other’s hands for comfort. We need each other...we are all connected.

August 21st, at 9:30 p.m.

We just got Jess to bed after his bath and a walk down the bike path. I guess we have established a routine that is working. Chris and I both have a hard time realizing this is all real sometimes. We don't talk about the what if's...we just do what needs to be done every day. It is strange how we both are so anxious when we leave Jess for a moment to rush back in hopes that things have changed. We both hope to get that phone call saying "guess what". Even if it was to hear there was a small new movement that was different. The biggest change lately has been Jess' eyes. He is so aware when you walk up to his side or into his room and if you ask him to follow your hand with his eyes to look to the right or left he can.

Jess starts school in another week and we are pleased that Amanda will be taking him to school. She has been such a wonderful help to me and a good friend to Jess. He hasn't seen many friends this summer and a lot have gone off to college but it will be good for him to be around kids his own age. I am sure he gets tired of us. He has a couple of weeks off from horse therapy but we will continue to have our therapists come to the house. We are so blessed with wonderful helpers... they all have the same goal...to get Jess back on his feet again.

It's hard to believe summer is coming to an end, Joey will be getting married here in 10 days, that it has been 14 months since the accident and that we seem to be surviving. We try not to think about the future and want to forget the past. We continue to thank everyone for hanging in there with us and for continuing to pray and keep in touch. We couldn't have made it this far without all of your support. Love to you all!

August 15th, 2005 at 9:30 p.m.

Amanda came home from the horse arena with Jess today very excited. She said Jess had opened his hand to pet "Camo" all on his own. She said Jess never took his eyes off of Camo as he stroked the horse's face. It is so amazing to see them bond with each other. I think they talk to each other with their eyes.

We received an email from a friend we had made in Boise at the hospital that they life flighted Jess to. Her son had been in a terrible accident where he ran into the back of a parked vehicle on a motorcycle going 50 miles a hour with no helmet. He also had a traumatic brain injury. He crushed almost every bone in his face and had many other injuries. His accident was a month before Jess. His mom gave us so much strength and foresight into what was ahead for us. We became good friends. Anyway, the doctors did not give her much hope for her son's recovery. In her email she said he is now walking with a walker, talking and is doing so well. It was such good news to hear of his leaps and bounds. Miracles do happen!

August 8th at 8:50 p.m.

Another month is here and I don't know where the last 13 went. I don't have much to say except we are all still here. We decided not to have the scar fixed on Jess' neck from the trache. We don't want to risk setting him back since he is doing so well healthwise. We go to the dentist today to make sure his fractured teeth are ok.

We are looking for someone to escort Jess to school. The person would work for Blaine County School District, hopefully be a CNA or have medical training and would spend 20 hours a week in school with Jess. If anyone knows of someone who might be interested please call the school district and ask for Blake. School starts at the end of the month already. One of Jess' good friends came by to say good bye. He is off to college and we want to wish him the best of luck. He is the only visitor Jess has had.

I have written my letter to the Dalai. I just ask him to pray for my son while he is here in our valley. His presence will bring peace to all of us.

Jess is riding today. He has been doing so well at horse therapy. He seems stronger each time he rides. Little miracles!Love to all....