Please Light a Candle November 18th, 2007

World Day of Remembrance for Road Traffic Victims

Sunday 18th November 2007

from "Make Roads Safe"

"Public remembrance is not for the benefit of victims to remember what happened to them. Victims remember well what happened to them. Public reflection is the act of recognition. It states to the victims and their families that their humanity is valued, that their loss is our loss and that their suffering is shared, if only through recognizing the tragedy and error of its occurrence."

The United Nations has designated the third Sunday in November every year as the official World Day of Remembrance for Road Traffic Victims.

This World Day provides an opportunity to remember the millions of people who have been killed or injured in road crashes across the world; to show solidarity with those living with injuries and disabilities from road crashes; and to call for better support for those who have been left behind: the families of road crash victims, who have to deal with grief; a search for understanding about how and why their loved one was killed or injured; a demand for justice and accountability from those responsible; and support in putting their own lives back together.

This World Day is also the annual day of action to demand greater national and international efforts to reduce the tragic toll of death and injury on the world’s roads.

What you can do:

‘Light of Hope’. The European Federation of Road Traffic Victims (FEVR) is calling on people and organizations to light a candle to ‘remember and reflect, remember and respond’. Please support this ‘Light of Hope’ initiative. See here for more details. For more ideas for marking the World Day, please read this guide prepared by WHO, Roadpeace and FEVR.

Make Roads Safe petition. One practical action you can take during the weekend of 16-18 November is to sign and circulate the Make Roads Safe petition to your friends, family and colleagues or to the community in your place of worship. You can download a paper copy of the petition, which calls for UN action on global road traffic deaths and injuries, here. Our petition will be presented to the UN Secretary General in advance of a UN debate on a proposal for a first ever UN Conference on Global Road Safety. Help us to achieve this objective by supporting the petition.

Please share this information with anyone you know that needs remembered.

Thank you....with love!

NOT a Piece of Cake!

I spoke too soon in my last post. Jess had a grand mal seizure at 5:00 a.m. on Wednesday morning. We did stop it with a lot of medication but it was so frightening. Everyone wonders if he might not be able to handle the anesthesia and the other drugs they gave him in the hospital. It was in July that he had the last one. He was "wiped out" all week. I stayed home and watched him like a hawk. Brandie stayed with him all week too and then he went to school on Friday. Brandie said he had more facial expressions and quite a few smiles...a good sign. We had to up his night dosage of seizure medicine and so far it doesn't seem like it has affected him too much. We were hoping to get to a year seizure free so he could get off the medicine. So...we just start over! Sending lots of love to all of you...

Piece of cake!

Jess did very well with the oral surgery. We only stayed one night in the hospital and just had to use the suction machine a couple of times. It took 1 1/2 hours to remove all 4 wisdom teeth and he also cleaned his teeth really well. The doctor was wonderful and so was the staff at St. Luke's. Dr. Nelson said he thinks they were probably hurting him quite a bit. We had an idea that was the case. Glad to have that one behind us. Jess will stay home with me tomorrow and then be back on schedule on Tuesday. Thanks for all the prayers and good thoughts!

Wisdom Teeth

We finally have an appointment at the hospital to get Jess' wisdom teeth removed. We are going in tomorrow (Friday) and his surgery is at 12:00 pm. He will need to stay the night in the hospital so they can monitor the bleeding, his pain and help with his swallowing. I just wish Jess could tell us how he feels. Please send a few prayers in his direction tomorrow.The oral surgeon from Boise was able to get temporary permission to do the procedure up here. It will be much easier since the staff knows Jess so well. Thank you, Dr. Nelson!

I just got a phone call from the Cleveland Clinic. They are requesting a video of Jess showing the things he can do. I guess that means he still might be considered for the surgery. Whew...

I had to go to Boise this week to the Supreme Court. It seems that Medicaid wants us to pay them back the money they have spent on Jess. We recovered some auto insurance dollars and now they want a chunk of it. We won the case here but they appealed so we now have to go to Boise. There was a similar case presented to the US Supreme Court in which a girl was injured like Jess. She received a settlement from insurance and Medicaid wanted to be paid back. Luckily, she won the case because to pay them back would have taken all of the money she had to help her recover. They just don't understand the financial impact a tragedy like this has on a family. So, unfortunately, we didn't solve anything and we will have to continue at a later date. You would not believe what you have to go through when something like this happens. You think you do all the right things to protect your family and you find out quickly why they write all of the fine print in policies. Then, you find out you have to have an attorney to understand what it all means. We have a strange system. I could elaborate but it is not good for my blood pressure!

I do have good news...Jess is going to be another uncle. Joey and Angela are going to have a little boy, Breck Joseph, in February. We are so excited! I just wish they lived closer.

I will let you know how the surgery goes. Thanks for checking in!

We love those smiles!

Boy, the days go by way too fast for me. It has been 17 days since I updated this site. Sorry! Let's see...I have not got another precious hug from Jess but he has been smiling with both corners of his mouth more often. Jamie and Jahara came home this weekend and he gave his sister the biggest smile. She has not seen him for a couple months and couldn't believe how many more facial expressions he had. There is nothing that makes us happier than to see Jess smile!

We had a wonderful visit from Daniel. He helped us awhile back with Jess and became a very special friend to us all. He came back here from Maine to show off his beautiful baby girl and to visit friends and family. He also got a big smile from Jess. Daniel once shared this with me:

Children

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, Speak to us of Children. And he said: Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, and though they are with you yet... they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls. For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you, for life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness; For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable. - Kahlil Gibran -

Jess has wonderful cranio sacral therapists that come to work with him every Friday. Beth (on the right) has been with us since Jess was hurt. She often brings others who work in the energetic field with her. Denise (on the left) has also become a very special person in our lives. We are blessed to have such loving kind souls surround Jess in love and energy. Beth also recently introduced us to a friend that she met in Brazil while visiting John of God. His name is Calvin. He spent four Fridays with Jess sharing his love and prayers to help heal all of us and support us while we try to understand what has happened to us. He assured us that everyone that touches Jess leaves with a gift...the gift of unconditional love. Thanks Calvin...we miss you!

We still have not heard from the Cleveland Clinic. I suppose they have many medical records to go through before they can make their decision. I finally got so frustrated regarding the oral surgeon in Boise getting permission to operate on Jess' wisdom teeth at our local hospital so I went to the hospital to speak with the CEO. He was out of the office so I spoke with the lady who is second in command. She was very kind and offered to do all she could to expedite the process. Hopefully we will hear something soon.

I will try not to take so long in sharing the days in the life of our Jess. They are always full of surprises! Good night!

Amazing Technology

We had a visit yesterday from a speech pathologist and her associate from Montana. They were recommended to me from the Elks in Boise. They are "gurus" in the augmentative communication devices. They hooked up a computer that had a program on it that actually could teach Jess how to do mores code. Our problem is still the delay in which Jess hits the switches and at times he is "just off with the angels". They also showed us a device that is called the Tango. It enables a person to speak through the device by hitting buttons. It is brand new and amazing. The problem with this device is it is geared towards a younger age and the voice is a young boy and it costs around $7,000. They are in the process of developing one for an adult. For now we are going to try a new switch that is called "Chickadee" or a "Step by Step communicator with levels". They both allow Jess to activate recorded messages. We talked about an eye gaze program but it will still be awhile.

It was wonderful to have such expertise in helping us decide the next step to take to help Jess communicate. Tracy, our long time, wonderful speech therapist, came over to listen. She hopes these women could do a seminar here in the valley to help other therapists see what is out there in the technology world. We will work on that one.

For us, it was kind of a sad day. There are so many ways to help Jess communicate but his participation is very limited and it is hard for Chris and I to see just how huge his limitations are. We live in our little dream world of this all being so temporary and when reality hits us in the face it is hard to deal with that reality. But, step by step, we will never give up and we will go at the pace Jess chooses. It is not about the destination...it is about the journey. I have to keep reminding myself of those words.

Fall is upon us and it is the most beautiful time of year here in the mountains. We don't have to go far to enjoy the colors. Jess is horseback riding right now and I am going to pick him up to go to speech therapy. Our days go fast and here it is another month. It has been 3 years 3 months and 13 days since Jess' accident.

Happy October...enjoy the colors!

Our Peaceful Warrior

I rented a movie last night called The Peaceful Warrior. I highly recommend you watch it. It is a true story taken from the book, The Way of the Peaceful Warrior, written by a gymnast and author, Dan Millman. Here is a quote about the DVD, "This film in some way calls us to living with a peaceful heart and a warrior spirit - to live with courage and love, to stand tall even when we stand alone, to do what is right and speak and live our truth. This is what the peaceful warrior's way is all about."

I bought the book for Joey close to 20 years ago when he was racing as a nordic skier. Chris also read it and Jess started to read it. It is still on his book shelve. Dan Millman was the guest speaker at a wellness fair here in Sun Valley that we attended. He has a wonderful way of sharing the experiences and lessons that he has learned as a superior athlete.

The film reminded me...again...that this life is all about the journey and not the destination. How many of us can love ourselves, our children, our mate, our parents, our friends, the strangers we meet for who they are right now and not for who we want them to be? I know, for me, it can be a challenge and is my lifetime work.

We have been told by many special messengers that Jess chose this path he is on to teach all of those who cross his path, unconditional love. Yes, that is a hard one for us to swallow. We miss the Jess we knew so much. But if it is true, we must honor his choice and love him unconditionally without expectations or desires to have him be anyone but who he is right now. Knowing my Jess, he would be the one to sacrifice his life for others. He once told me at the young age of 16, "Mom, I could die tomorrow and it would be ok. I have lived a good life and experienced so much." I looked at him and said, "But Jess, you are only 16!" He replied seriously, "I know, mom, but I have done more and lived more than most do in their entire lifetime."

He wanted to be an NBA player because he loved basketball, but also because he wanted to be an inspirational speaker and knew kids would listen to him if he played for the NBA. He didn't get that chance but maybe in this condition he is more powerful at getting a message across than he would have been as an NBA player. It is important for us to find a different way to listen to him.

Most of the people that touch Jess' life have truly given him unconditional love. We hear often that Jess gives them a gift far greater than they are able to give back to him. Of course those comments bring tears to my eyes. I will always feel we are so blessed to have the many friends that have come in different forms to touch all of our lives. I guess if there can be one good thing that came out of his accident, it has been meeting all the wonderful, kind and loving people that have shared this journey with us.

Watch the movie. You won't regret it. We all need a reminder to let go, forgive and love most importantly ourselves and then everyone around us "unconditionally".