12/31/04 at 4:23 p.m.

Today is New Year's Eve and personally I am very relieved to see midnight arrive and a new year begin. This is a year I would choose not to remember. For some reason our trauma doesn't seem to go away. The day after Christmas my son Joey took his girlfriend and her sister skiing, he fell and dislocated his shoulder, tore the rotator cuff, a muscle and bruised the bone. He is heading back to Minneapolis to have surgery. Jamie ended up with some kind of weird virus that the doctor said he has seen quite a few cases of in Boise where her throat swelled up with golf ball size bumps, she had 19 canker sores in her mouth and her gums were bleeding. He, of course asked her what kind of stress she was under because her immune system must be weak. Luckily, with medication it will go away. I don't even know what to say. For me to watch my children be hurt is just too much to bear and I can't seem to stop it. So, give me a new year, new energy, new miracles....I am ready.

On a better note, Jess has been lifting and lowering his right arm when I ask him which is a very new thing. A very good new thing. He has also been rolling his ankle and bending his stiff left leg for me. He is moving his head to the left and right more which means his neck muscles are getting stronger. And, his eye contact has been noticeably different to the speech therapist as improving each week. We think he even grinned at his dad.

Life is very interesting to say the least. We need to send some healing strength and energy to the people involved in the tragedy in Asia. Their trauma has to be unbearable...we cannot even imagine. As we know, we are all connected so...as you have done for us...we can do for them. Prayers are our only solution. Have a safe and happy New Year! Love, Pam, Chris & Jess

12/26/04 at 2:40 p.m.

I would be dishonest if I told you this was a good Christmas for us all. Christmas was one of Jess' favorite holidays. He would always wake up Jamie first and talk her into getting up and then he loved to pass out the presents. We would all make popcorn balls a couple of days before Christmas which we couldn't seem to do this year. We did manage to decorate a tree and rise to the occassion just in hopes of receiving our miracle. But, I guess it is still just not in the plan for him to come back to us yet.

I am so thankful Grandma and Grandpa, Joey, Angie & her sister, Jamie & Jahara and Uncle Jim & Aunt Claudia were here to help us find some peace throughout the day. It was Chris' birthday too...we know what wish was made when he blew out the candles on his birthday cake. None of us can imagine why this has happened to our family and especially to our Jess but we keep praying there will be some sort of good come out of it. We know Jess is still in the thoughts and prayers of a lot of people in this valley and we can only thank you and wish you and your families a very Merry Christmas and a safe and joyous New Year. Hug each other and be so thankful for every moment you can share together. With love....The Matey's

12/17/04 at 9:15 p.m.

Today was a very big day for us. There are over 20,000 hits on this website. It gives us so much strength and courage just knowing so many people are checking on Jess and support us with their love and encouragement for his recovery. We are so amazed it has been exactly 6 months today since Jess' accident.

We took Jess to the hospital today to have a cavity filled and to have his teeth cleaned. Because of his condition they had to put him under a general anesthetic and put a tube down his throat. I have been so worried because just before the accident when he had his teeth cleaned they found out he had the cavity and if it hurt...Jess couldn't tell us. If you are a mother please always go with your instinct. When Dr. Drew and his hygenist got to look inside his mouth they not only fixed the cavity but found 2 other small cavities. He also found 5 fractured teeth that were a result of the impact that broke Jess' jaw in the accident. Dr. Drew said if it were you or I it would be very painful to have a fractured tooth. My poor Jess had 5 and couldn't even tell us that it hurt. They were able to bond and seal the fractures and also put a floride sealant on all of his teeth. The procedure took over two hours. We want to thank everyone who took such good care of Jess at the hospital.

We do believe we have angels watching over us. Chris has been uncomfortable with the new feeding tube in Jess stomach so while Jess was in the recovery room Chris ran into the wonderful surgeon, Dr. Durtschi, who has helped us before with his feeding tubes. He asked him if he thought we should put in a different type of tube while Jess was still coming out of the anesthetic. He agreed and when he went to remove the existing tube he found it had broken again. So, he replaced it with a stronger more reliable tube. Thank you Dr. Durtschi!

We also brought my dad home from the hospital today. We found out he had a touch of pneumonia and some stomach problems. We are all glad to be home.

To close, we want to wish a very special girl a very special Happy Birthday. Today Kelsey (Jess' girlfriend) turned 17 on the 17th. Happy Birthday, Kelsey! Jess was wide eyed when I told him it was your birthday this morning. I know he wanted me to wish you a very special day...

12/15/04 at 7:19 p.m.

I am so sorry I have not updated Jess' website for 7 days. My dad (who lives with us) had to be taken to the hospital in the middle of the night by ambulance 3 days ago. They are running tests to see what is wrong. I have been busy taking my mom back and forth to the hospital, visiting dad, working and helping Chris with Jess.

Jess is doing well. We are seeing a lot of purposeful movements and his eyes seem to follow us. I feel he is looking around with curious eyes. When I came home today, John was working with him on the floor. He was moving his arms and legs with John's help. He looked up at me and we both felt Jess gave me a faint smile. It made me cry. His neck muscles are getting stronger, too. We can't wait for him to sit up alone.

Jess had a few special friends visit last weekend. I know there are some of Jess' friends that would like to visit but may be hesitant to see him in the condition he is in. As a very good friend of mine said to me, "Jess is so much better than he was 6 months ago when his fragile breath was dependent on hospital support....he is ever so slowly coming back to be whoever he will be in the future. Your beautiful son is growing in his way, on his path each day and the gift that he is giving you, is for you to hold to the Truth of who you are and who Jess really is...regardless of appearances."

I hope you all know that we understand. It is hard to see Jess in his wheel chair and not out on the court shooting his basketball. We can't and won't give up knowing that he will get better. If you would just like to call so Jess could hear a familiar voice or if you decide you do want to come by...please let us know. We are not sure what may stimulate him or bring him back. As the speech therapist said, "Let him smell the boy's locker room...that will wake him up". Keep the positive thoughts coming...we need all we can get!

12/8/04 at 7:25 p.m.

Everytime I update this website I hope I can say, "Guess what, Jess is awake!" But not today...he is a little better than he was a month ago and I know he will be a little bit better in another month. As they told us in many ways, we have a long road and it will be a slow process. We are still waiting for it to happen like it does in the movies. No one really knows though so why can't I believe one day he will just wake up and say "hi mom".

We have around 2 feet of snow in the front yard which warranted Chris returning to work at Sun Valley. Jess and I are hanging out in his room. I can't move him by myself so we will just entertain ourselves here until Chris gets home around one or two a.m. I just read the newspaper to Jess telling him about how well the basketball team did in their last game and we are listening to the radio. I am sure he would like to be sitting here at his computer but I will have to keep it warmed up for him. Good night...

12/5/04 at 6:53 p.m.

Jess had a lot of nice visitors today. Kelsey and Dustin with three people from Kelsey's church visited to include Jess in a prayer circle. My special friend Sheila and Chris joined us. We all touched Jess with our hands, our love, our trust and with God. We have to believe with all of the wonderful people holding Jess close to their hearts he has to come back to us. We are so blessed to have so many that care so much...thank you!

12/1/04 at 6:30 p.m.

Another month has passed and Christmas is just around the corner. I don't know where the time has gone. I seem to wish it away and then fear that it has been too long. What is time anyway? I know we must stay in the moment.

Coach Castle who now lives in WA came to visit Jess on Monday. I am sure it meant a lot to him to have her stop by. It meant a lot to us, too.

We took Jess up to St. Luke's for the long awaited swallow evaluation on Tuesday but we found out he just isn't quite ready for pizza and sushi. He has to stay with the ice chips for a little longer. We were a bit disappointed but at least we know. He is feeling much better from the bout with pneumonia. I made an appointment with the neurologist at the rehab at the Primary Children's Hospital. She also covers the rehab at the U of U. We couldn't get an appointment until January 12th. She will evaluate Jess to see if he is ready to return to a rehab center. We hope by then he will be bouncing off the walls.

We are still hanging in there....