Down time!

We are taking the website offline for awhile. We will be up and running again in about 4 or 5 months. Stay tuned and we will talk to everyone soon!

September 6, Daniel here

Pam and Chris had a loving and fun party for me and my six months pregnant wife, Wendy. Many of the people involved in Jesse's life right now were there. We ate Chris's spaghetti without silverware, got door prizes, played with rubber flies and spud guns, and had an all around good time. Tears were saved for the end of the evening.

Until about a month ago I had been having numerous dreams where Jess "wakes up" during the day AND HE IS IMMEDIATELY ON A CELL PHONE. As the evil stepfather of a 19 year old, it has become clear to me that each evening, around six, teenagers seem to rise like vampires to make a connection with one another. My son can sleep through loud music and 5 consecutive alarms, but when his phone rings he answers with a cheerful "What's up, dude?"

I've been working with troubled teens for fifteen years, and one of the big reasons I am leaving is because I am burnt out and no longer effective. It makes sense to me that Jesse's showing up in my dreams as a regular teenager would annoy me - But in the last dream, Jess picked up his head, slowly, and said "That was hard!" and smiled. We talked, and now I am so relieved that he has shown himself for who he is (my faith in teenagers is partially restored).

I believe our souls fly out of our bodies at night and cruise around the universe. They bump into, find, or are found by, other souls they have attractions with. I am SO HAPPY to have played with Jess at this level.

I don't know how to conclude this. I feel like there is so much ahead for Jess, and I am sad that I will not be with him to egg him on. I have grown to love the Matey family with more heart than I knew I had, a rich, rich emotion of connection.

September 2, 2006

I think I forgot to breathe during the last two weeks. It is has been very busy. Jess had his feeding tube changed with no problems except he got a little sick to his stomach horseback riding the same day. We think he may have eaten a little too soon. He is riding a new horse at the arena and we are very grateful to it's owner. We love Camo but he is getting pretty old to have a big guy like Jess riding him. We had Jess weighed and he weighs 158 lbs so he is staying at a good weight. I also met with his nutritionalist that helped me set up the formula that I mix for his feeding tube. She just added a few "brain" supplements and said through her research we were still doing the right mix. Jess does look very healthy. We should all be eating what he does!
Jess' Grandma Juliann is here from Cleveland and we are really enjoying her company! We are having a birthday party tonight for everyone because we don't get to celebrate our birthday parties together. Little Jahara will have fun with all the candles! Unfortunately, it is very smoky here because of some nearby forest fires so we haven't been able to go up north to some of our favorite mountain places. Jess gave her a big smile when she walked in which made her trip. We had a couple of cold nights and now as I look out the window the trees are already starting to turn. I sure hope we have a long warm fall before the snow falls again.
Jess is back in school. I had a meeting with all the team players that help Jess at school and they have a great program set up for him. He will attend a Psyche for Success class again and they set up a workstation in his old computer class so he can work on the computer programs we are experimenting with. We are losing Susan, the Occupational Therapist, but we are gaining a new OT, Catherine. Amanda is working full time for the school now but still gets to be with Jess when he is there. She now gets all the school benefits so it was a good move for her. We will miss her time with us. She has taken Jess to two football games though and she said he "lights up" when he gets there. Several people stopped by to say hello and gave him a hug and his basketball coaches stood right beside him and engaged him in their conversations. We are so lucky to live in such a giving community.
Daniel's last day was Thursday. It was a tough day for me. He has become an important part of our family and we will truly miss him. It is not easy to allow someone to come into your life, trust them with your car, your home, and more importantly your son who cannot tell you about his day. But, Daniel, I would trust with my life. He is a wonderful, funny, caring, gentle soul and we love him very much. We thank you for the last two years and wish you the very best always, Daniel! We are having a little going away party for him tomorrow so we all get one last hug!

Happy Anniversary Joey and Angela! It was a year yesterday since we shared your day. We love and miss you both!