Friday, March 31, 2006

March 31st, 2006

It's been quite some time since I visited with you via this website. I thought you would enjoy hearing from the special people that surround Jess. We are very lucky to have them in our lives.

Jess is enjoying spring break right now. He has enjoyed a little rest. He is responding well to the new therapists and the old therapists have noticed changes which is reasuring. Our next endeavor is to get a rotating mattress so we do not have to move him every two hours during the night. My shoulder is getting better but the mattress will help all of us. I am going through the lengthy process again of getting the authorizations from insurances. Who knows when we will get an answer. I learned yesterday our taxes are going to be very complicated with Jess being over the age of 18. I guess I can chalk it all up to a good education that I am getting!

We are leaving today on another adventure until next Wednesday. This will be Jess' first time on an airplane so send some peaceful prayers for all of us. I will fill you in on the details when we get back.

Tomorrow is mom and dad's 68th Anniversary so we are wishing them a very Happy Anniversary!!! Happy April Fool's to everyone!

Thursday, March 23, 2006

March 23, 2006

Dear Family & Friends:
Hello! It's Amanda! It is so wonderful having Jess home! I have missed him terribly while he was away in California. Although, it was very beneficial for Jess to get some much needed, intense therapy to aid in his progress. I worked daily at the high school with the special needs students, patiently awaiting Jess’s return.
Jess and I continue to spend time with each other throughout the week. The only day that I am not at his side is on Thursdays, in which case, Daniel takes Jess for the day. This is a good thing, for Jess needs a male companion once in a while to get away from all of us girls! Jess is only in one class this semester since his return from California, and this is psyche for success. I must admit, I truly love this class and the content that is taught, for I have learned a lot! And it is always a joy to see Jess react to his classmates, as well as the discussion of various aspects involving “personal power”. Pure and simple, the boy is wiggly during this class, it’s as if he is going to get right up and walk out of his chair. I am hoping and praying that this actually occurs one day!
There are many types of exercises that I work on with Jess that include: vision exercises, thermal stimulation (swabbing the inside of Jess’s mouth with a cold glycerin swab to get him to swallow more often, to strengthen his tongue). I also do range of motion, which involves exercise of the lower and upper extremities, in which I unload Jess onto a plinth, to let him stretch out a bit and get a break from his chair. And lastly, communication in which I instruct Jess to tell me yes or no with his eyes by blinking. I ask him a variety of questions that involve a direct answer and then I also show him photographs of his family, and familiar surroundings, I also include objects and animals. For the most part, Jess is 90% accurate with his communication, swallowing is stronger, eye gaze is stronger, and I have noticed more fluid movement in his extremities. We can thank the CNS Institute for this wonderful progress! I just pretend that I am a drill sergeant and I keep Jess motivated with these exercises through out the day at school. And he gets lots of kisses on the nose, along with hugs from me!! I am certain that by the end of the day, Jess is secretly saying ok please God get me away from this woman! These exercises that I am allowed to perform are within my scope of practice, I leave the harder stuff for the therapists at the hospital.
I suppose I better not get to lengthy, like I did the last time. I just wanted to give everyone an update on how Jess is doing and what I have observed since his return. He is stronger, he has made good progress, it is still slow, but extremely continuous!! And this is what we want. I will continue to do all that I can for this wonderful young man; I work very aggressively with the exercises, as his therapists do, in hopes that someday we will have a break-through. May God bless each and every one of you!Love Always, Amanda

Friday, March 17, 2006

March 17th, 2006

Daniel here again.
Jess was sleepy for most of today, and I wondered what that might mean. After a while I decided that it didn’t mean anything, and it was nice to see him going through what any of us might.
Then, I got thinking about Jess’s accident and all the lives it has changed; and honestly, no matter how positively you spin it, the whole thing just sucks. We create meaning - WE put labels on experiences, and sometimes I get so sick of having to be “enlightened.” Being pleasant, EVOLVING into a more perfect being - don’t you ever just want to scream about the hardship, the pettiness, the INJUSTICE of how things happen? Are you not tired of self censure? There’s a wonderful beast in there dying to be set free, your own Jekyll and Hyde.
There is no room for love until after the truth has been expressed in whatever nasty form it raises its ugly head. If what you really feel is not expressed, then all you do is spread the peanut butter of illusion over a wound that cannot heal.
Everyone is so hip on not reacting, but is not your initial reaction the most authentic, the one most needing to be said out loud? Reasoning it out or creating a meaning comes later.
What I’m saying here is, can you believe how horrible it is for all this to have happened to Jess? It’s outrageous and about a hundred other things like unbelievable, wrong, unfair, undeserved and cruel. I’m pissed!
And now that that is said, here is my spin, the meaning I have created: On the way to work this morning I totaled my truck (I can still hear the crunching). No one was hurt, and after calling the Police I immediately called Pam. “Don’t you try to move Jess by yourself - I will be there soon, I’m just a block away.” (Pam’s shoulder is hurt and moving Jess aggravates it - not to mention aggravating Chris, who so wants Pam to get better). As I put the cell phone in my pocket I was struck by what a privilege it is to be involved in something more important than myself - something which supersedes my own day to day drama; such a gift to be, if only for a little while, a servant.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

March 11, 2006

Daniel here.I’ve been Jess’s Thursday caregiver since he got back from the hospital in September 2004. Pam asked me to write this update.
The best I see is how Jess continues to react more and more to both Pam and Chris; they can get a smile out of him, and its about time he started doing that! (My sister tells me that her first child was a lot of work, and after the first few months she had had enough. “But nature had plans, and just in time he smiled. So I kept him...”)
Jess has had trouble reconnecting with his facial muscles, and there is often a few to 20 second delay as he struggles to, I’m guessing here, either process what is being said, or connect what he hears and feels to his body. Either way (or a third way I don't see), when Chris “falls” on Jess to “wrastle” with him, Jess is now getting a wonderful expression of amazement and joy on his face (with Chris falling on me, I imagine I would be quick to respond as well). The look would be subtle to an outsider, but not to those who spend time with Jess. He is a handsome young man and frankly, it is a pleasure to be around him. I think all those who work with him would agree. In the business of care giving, that is not always the case. Sometimes I have to find the compassion, it's not just there as it is with Jess.
Physically Jess is much much stronger. Transferring from his wheelchair to a bed or his standing chair used to be like herding a big noodle. Now, somehow, Jess participates and it is fantastic! I was moving him just yesterday, and we “accidentally” stood up - that’s how easy it is now. I think it is mostly his stomach muscles that are helping, it is hard to say. Also, Jess no longer gets as dizzy when we sit him up - less disoriented.
There is also great improvement with Jess eyes. He now can track right and left, and even up and down. In fact, when you ASK him to, he can often do this without having to track a moving object. I really hope he is excited by all these things; that he can feel himself in his body, the thrill of being in more control of what it does. But the richest part of this whole experience, for me, has been being around Pam and Chris with their abundance of unconditional Love. I am an overeducated New York intellectual Jew heathen, but I swear I experience God all over their house; the place radiates love, and when I drive Jess to his various daily activities, tendrils of this love follow, envelope and even guide us. It’s a little like floating. Pam and Chris source this with a faith like no other.